within my meditations,
racing through my dreams
like an arrow of light,
hot pink, red, icy something
like an icy blue, icy green
I see something in the distance,
not a ghost, not a shadow,
a vision of colours dancing in the shape of sorrow
My hiking boots are hiding, otherwise
I could have, would have climbed
mountains of snow and sadness
I locked my troubles in a box of steel
just for tonight
They wished me love, „amore”, „iubire”,
I thanked them, all of them,
my friends, my strangers,
trees and frozen lakes,
coyotes and foxes,
I thanked even those who forgot I exist
just because I do not take anything for granted,
not my memories, nor my memory
not even my car that is still running
like a horse without wings_
that is how I call it when it coughs every morning
I know many still love me somehow
and I love them too somehow
even though we don’t talk about love
we almost don’t talk about anything
in fact we don’t even talk anymore
Silence and gazes into the sunset or the dawn
we feel our pulses over the waves of air,
over the sleeping forests, falling flakes,
snow, superficiality, artistic depth
I kneel under defeated attempts of searching
for discernment in my thoughts,
in my pastel actions.
Today my heart visits all seasons in one day_
another marathon of something_I have no name to call it,
the adjectives are hiding as well for a while,
suspended in time,
No labels for a change_and that is freedom !
so much hiding, another escape
from denial and reality
we feel alive when we sleep
and we dream when we are awake
and we do not know to call it thriving or surviving
Saints and lovers all around,
I fall into an hour of sugar,
chocolate and silence,
intentional passion
just to forget who I am and who I wanted to be.
I could have been an opera singer,
I could have been a florist or an urban peasant
tonight I am the hiding player
for that is what I do with letters and words
every day, every night
I play with alphabets and colours
for the time being,
I play with the music of my heart.
Adela-Adriana Moscu, February 14, 2006 , USA